He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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