meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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