fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
