you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
