so explain again why im purple
no
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
