You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
