drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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