I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
