marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize