Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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