Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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