biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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