I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Everclear isn't food dammit
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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