White coat. Heels.
i think my mom watched the whole time
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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