And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
