yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
