It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
