A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize