My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
