actually, I'm a sock model
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
