I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
