I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize