giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
