mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I have aggressive nipples.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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