The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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