we have officially lost it.
wanna go halves on a baby?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I will be naked everywhere
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
