absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
