8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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