Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
