I seem to have left my pride at pride
I am spending my child support on dildos
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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