i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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