The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
