i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
this hospital has no fireball
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
