Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
