I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I want her autograph on my taint
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
