Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
