think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
did you just send me my own nude
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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