My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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