I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
you have to choose: penises or morals?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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