Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
