Actions speak louder than pants.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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