I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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