is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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