Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
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