he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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