Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
