Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It's shark week go big or go home
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
