Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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