You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
