Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
