everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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