He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
