Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
