I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
