I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
