you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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