i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Dicks are not precious.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize