dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
