mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
