I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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