Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
