I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife đŹ
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled âfive times and I still havenât gotten offâ when he was still inside me ..
Said âdonât worry Iâll get myself off tomorrowâ to top it all off
FYI - Donât go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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