and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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