bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
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